Sunday, March 20, 2011

Running and Fighting


I was looking forward to getting some running in this weekend, but the weather isn’t cooperating (Hard Rain).

After much dilly-dallying and watching rain drip down the windowpane (or according to Eminem, Window Pain...), I chose to do a LONG run on a treadmill.
Feeling so much Window Pain

I really enjoy 20 miles out in the fresh air with changing scenery and cool temperatures – but my gym is stuffy as hell (really, it’s gross, they don’t have A.C.), and the treadmill TV’s have less than 10 channels.  On weekends those channels are mostly sports (

Unless it's soccer or the Giants in the World Series, I'm bored

When it comes to my NEW friend the treadmill, I typically choose to do speed work, and cut the run off at 1 hour max.

I ended up being a hamster on the wheel for….ugh.  22 miles. 

(It was actually 21.6 miles—in 2 hours 49 minutes— and then I’m tacking on the 0.5 miles I ran from my home to the gym).

First hour: between 7.9 and 8.2 mph, 1.0 incline

Second hour: between 7.7 and 7.9 mph, 0.5 incline (I…started dragging…big time)

Last 40 minutes: between 7.3 and 7.6 mph, 0.0 incline (legs began to stiffen up).

I entertained myself by watching Kill Bill and some Cake Wars, with a touch of Obama air-bombing Libyan air forces.

Can you believe this picture? 0.0001 seconds before this Libyan plane hit the ground.

Takeaway:  I lose steam when I go out at a 7:30 pace.  I have to try and restrain the urge to go out strong, even though it feels so good for the first 1.5 hours.

Also, even though it should be a confidence booster that I can do 22 miles without too much pain, I actually felt LESS confident after this run – because I left feeling like “Oh HELL NO I could NOT have run another 4.2 miles.  Pure torture.”

week total: 55 miles
Monday: none
Tuesday: 9
Wednesday: none
Thursday: 20.5
Friday: none
Saturday: 22
Sunday: 3.5


I just watched the Bachelor finale yesterday night.

SPOILER ALERT for anyone who is planning on watching it on Hulu even later than me:

Brad proposes to Emily, aka Barbie Mother Theresa.

"You are very pretty, will you be my arm candy?"

I think it’s pretty clear after spending 20+ hours watching the series this season, that Brad was not comfortable around Emily, that she is rather dull, but that quite simply she is the most perfect LOOKING woman ever to exist in accordance with societal expectations.

She’s got glowy, tan golden skin, big bright white straight teeth, shockingly gold long locks, 26-foot long skinny legs, skinny everything in fact, but a nice big rack.

Not a fan of the bikini, but I'll take the rest
Blondest hair ever
I thought this date was the best she ever looked

So he chose arm candy – knowing that for the rest of his life, people would admire his “wife” or be jealous of him, over picking someone who stimulates him emotionally, intellectually, and physically (let’s be honest here, Emily was a prude – and if you are ballsy enough to date someone on national television, you better be willing to seal the deal.)

And the result is, apparently Emily and Brad have been fighting constantly – brutal, claws out, walls down, fighting.

They are going to attempt to push through these “troubles” for love though. 


Here’s why I’m posting about this, because this fighting got me thinking. 

Fighting this hard after just weeks of being engaged? That is a HORRIBLE sign of things to come.

The first YEAR of dating my boyfriend was 100% puppies and butterflies.  I would have collapsed in tears and confusion if he expressed an angry emotion.  It was just such a delicious, young love phase.

This is like, 2 days before we officially began dating
First vacation together -- the Swiss Alps! OK, it was Disneyland.

The guy we asked to take a picture of us FORCED us to do crazy poses

We probably didn’t have our first “fight” for well over a year, and over 6 months of living together (we moved in together after 7 months of serious dating).   And I’m guessing it was one of those arguments where I hadn’t slept enough, and he told me to watch out for another car that was merging and I said “I KNOW, I SEE IT!”  I get angry when I drive…

After 3.5 years together, we still have never YELLED yelled at each other, and I doubt we ever will.  That’s just such a scary, useless way to communicate. 

We hear the single father who lives below us yelling at his kids daily, and it serves as an excellent example of WHY NOT to yell at others – we hear the older brother verbally abusing the younger brother when they are home alone.  I wonder where he learned this…

Christmas punch
So we don’t fight.  Every now and then I snap at something, and it is usually related to being tired.   I’ve known since my first sleepover when I was, I dunno, 5 years old, that not sleeping enough makes me cranky. 

Instead, we say “I Love You” like, 678 times a day.  Seriously, it’s gross.  We say it when we wake up, when we leave for work, through texts all day, when we see each other in the evening, while eating dinner, and before bed. 

Christmas, not punching

Ha, made you look at PDA!

So the point of this post is two-fold:

1) I’m curious how others communicate with their loved ones.  Can fighting be an element of a truly stable relationship?  Does anyone NEVER fight?  And how do you fight?

2) Spread a little love.  Don’t be afraid to say “I love you” too much.  The sound of those words never, ever get old.  And it’s so much better for everyone than fighting.

And since most of you are just my blog friends and I don’t LOVE YOU-love you, I’ll reserve this more casual phrase for you:

Luv ya!


  1. Nice run on the treadmill! You are speedy! I enjoyed your take on Emily and the bachelor, I have to agree with you!! Something doesn't seem right.. I wonder why he chose Emily.. Maybe it will work out though, who knows? You and your man seem like a great couple, I think thats so sweet that you say I love you so many times a day! :)

  2. Wow, way to rock on the treadmill! I love the pics of you and your man. Sp cute :) I think fighting can be helpful, as long as you're really talking and not just screaming or throwing insults. Whenever my bf and I fight (which isn't too often) we usually separate for a bit to calm down, then talk once we are ready to be mature and talk things through so that it actually gets resolved

  3. Wow your track times were good! I wonder if there will ever be a day when I can run 20+ miles on the treadmill!?!? Haha. I am beyond in awe.

  4. 20 miles on a treadmill? Why?? Just bang out 10 at super intensity instead! No way I could take it lol, and I love the treadmill :) Mad props though!

    I did a half marathon today that went really well.

    And that's really sweet about all non-running stuff- you are very lucky!

  5. Seriously girl, 20 miles on the dreadmill is rocking. I wish I had that kind of dedication.

    The boyfriend and I are doing the long-distance thing so when we fight, it's about who wants to get off the phone first or how he might not be listening to my super important story about my lunch that day. We definitely do fight, but like I said, over nothing of real importance and get over it quick. We also say I love you 800 times a day, whatever, its not gross, its good for the soul!

  6. Nick and I say I love you a lot. Sometimes so much I start to feel as if it loses its significance a little bit... Do you ever feel that way? But we do fight sometimes. Luckily its very rare, because I absolutely hate fighting, especially yelling. I just don't think it's necessary.

  7. 22 miles on a treadmill?
    I would die!
    haha the most I have ever run is 16.5 miles, though. So I can't even imagine doing it in one place. Gag.

    Anywayyy, I'm the same way with my boyfriend Connor about saying I love you. 2398347 times a day. Every time we talk, ha. I love when it's random, though.. and sometimes you can truly tell that it means so much more than every other time of saying it..
    When we fight it's more of a shutdown on both of our parts.. we just don't talk. I hate it :/
    If we didn't fight it would be weird, though. I agree that it is healthy to an extent.

    Also thank you so much for your comments on my blog. I know that you joke about how long they are, but I LOVE them that way! You are keeping me encouraged. Seriously, thank you.
    <3 Haley

  8. Insanely fast treadmill run! you will destroy the marathon at Eugene! I definitely think you will get 3:30 or better, 7:45 pace will get you a 3:23 I think!

  9. Great treadmill run!! I'm impressed!! I found you through SR(skinnyrunner). You will def. meet your 3:30 goal at Eugene. Keep it up girl!! Your training at the pace you need to!!

    Love your blog!! I'll be back!!

    Have a great evening!! :)

  10. Did you happen to read the People magazine article that Brad and Emily were interviewed for?!

  11. Nice post :). I could NEVER run 22 on a treadmill. NO WAY.

  12. get this fact straight NOW: you only say "i love you" to ME! hahah jk. G and I don't really fight alot...we just...get along..if we fight it's cause i'm crazy and unstable...which means all the time? jk but when I do go crazy he just stares at me and says "it's not worth it to fight"..then I hug him and he farts. THE.END.

  13. Even though this post is more than three years old, I'm commenting ANYWAY because a) I'm slowly working my way through your blog from start to end and b) I just want to. The couple that lives in the apartment below me fights a lot, and when they do, it's an all-out scream fest, filled with F-bombs and other horrible things I can't imagine ever saying to someone I love. Or even like. I've never fought with a boyfriend like that. In fact, I've never fought with anyone like that. My parents, who've been happily married for 35 years, fought occasionally when I was a kid, but never with that kind of vicious, personal energy. Occasional fights that allow people to grow and move on = healthy communication. Yelling and screaming and personal attacks and scary vulgar language = not healthy communication.

    You've probably forgotten this post entirely. But I like your blog a lot and all the running is interesting. THANK YOU. (Don't read mine, it's boring.)

    1. Wow! I have absolutely no recollection of writing this post. It was fun to re-read. Why all the bolding of words? I imagine your trip through my old posts includes a lot of dead images, like those in this one. Ya.

      I grew up hearing my parents get really nasty -- well, mostly my dad yelling at my mom. Thank goodness that pattern didn't stick. It almost had the opposite and my sisters all are married to/dating very calm, cool headed, lovely men. We just have to do our part and return in kind :) To bring it full circle, running helps me stay kind :)


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