Monday, April 9, 2012


Not sleeping makes me feel like I'm on drugs.  I didn't get more than a couple winks (one wink = one hour, right?) the night before Easter because I couldn't turn my brain off.  Caffeine makes that happen for me.  All day Sunday I was delirious and just a giggle-puff.  Everything was making me laugh.  Some of it was actually funny.

I got to my parents house and opened the fridge because that's what you GOTTA do when you go to your parents house.  What I found is a very typical occurrence in that household: a jar of something (I think horseradish) sitting in the fridge, with nary a lid to be found.  No lid.  Just sitting there growing mold and frostbite flavor.  I laughed like Seth Rogan for a while.  My mom can be frazzled, but the funniest part is that she is so brave about food that she has NO FEAR at all if a food item is 2+ years expired, or fell of the table and rolled through a ball of dog hair, or has been sitting in the fridge without a lid.  She's like, "oohhhh, it's fine, the lid probably just fell now."  (There was no lid to be found anywhere).

I hung out with this cutie-pot-pie on Easter and we did a lot of giggling

That evening as I was getting packed for the next work day, I realized I didn't drink a smoothie that I had brought to work on Friday, and so it was sitting in my work bag decaying.  I picked up the steel thermos and held my breath tight as I prepared to open it over the sink to wash.  Twist, twist....GASEOUS EXPLOSION!!!  All over my face and my white coat.  All in my hair.  I half cried/half laughed/100% went EWWWWW.  It smelled. 

Then I opened my 3-pack of Peeps, in preparation to eat them in a few days once they start to go a little stale.  Stale Peeps are the only way to eat Peeps, who's with me!!??

For the holiday weekend, we also had a feast of Asian food at this place in Oakland with the Gentleman's family. I reallllly recommend the place to you locals, and to international readers who are considering catching a 17 hour plane ride here to try it out, don't do that.  I also realllly recommend the neighborhood donut shop we stopped at after dinner, Colonial Donuts, where I always get the best donut which is a French Glazed.  This tower we purchased made me cackle with anticipation.

French Glazed is the ripply beige one in the middle.  The Gentleman always gets the Apple Fritter, the Goliath in the top right.

This past weekend brought Easter, and Passover, and April 7, which is the 11-year anniversary of the day I lost the only grandma I ever new.  My family is very small -- I was raised with 0 cousins, 0 aunts, 1 estranged uncle I have met twice, 1 grandmother, and 1 grandfather.  Grandfaja.  I just wanted to say it like Goldmember.

I guess this is a Jewish tradition, I don't really know, but my mom gives me a candle twice a year to light for her mother and father on the days they passed away (these are the grandparents that I knew).  It's a strange day to "celebrate," the day of one's death, through the lighting of 24-hour candle.  During those 30 hours (the candle is like a miniature 8-day miracle, lasting far longer than 24 hours it is marketed as), each time I walk by the candle, I devote a few moments to thinking about them.  

24 hours in.
This April 7, I though about how my Grandma had this genuine high-pitched whooping laugh, like she might cry laughing, and she was always so eager to laugh.  And her warm yiddish accent, and how she would call me her "little kitten" and hug me SO hard, and how she always hand bandages on her hands from cooking us feasts with dull knives.  I thought about how her bright pink lipstick was always on her teeth, and I found a drawer full of that bright color in her beauty desk after she was gone.  I thought about how happy she was in life, for someone who survived the Holocaust and lost an unfathomable number of family members at the age of 14.  I thought about how she survived through the worst, only to lose her life at the Young and Healthy age of 77 by tripping on a sidewalk curb during her daily walk.  I was 17.  I learned why people say "you should sit down" when they tell you bad news, because suddenly I was on the floor.  I wore black to school the next day.  I left early and when a fire-engine siren blared behind me while I drove home, I pulled over and cried because the sound meant someone else might be dying too.  Everything reminded me of her death.

This is the only picture I could find on my computer with her in it.  I think this must be 1999 or 2000.  I'll talk about the dolls some other time.

2001 was a rough year. 


I think I ran fartleks this morning.  I just realized that this is easily the main kind of speedwork that I do, but it didn't connect that a name for it exists.  I usually thought of it as "intervals". 

Fartleks means you run fast until you squeeze a fart out, and then you slow it down, and repeat.  I'm sure I'm not the first to make that joke.  Fartleks actually means "speed play," isn't that right?  Nobody can prove that the term wasn't created due to somebody farting during a drill.  Try and prove it, you can't, so it is at least 50% likely to be true.

This is more or less what I did.  But unlike this idiot, I wore my hair in a ponytail

One out of every 5 runs or so, I basically do speed play.  I run around the lake, and I run fast until I hit a designated spot in my eyesight.  Usually in the realm of 1 minute.  I think this is about 70% of a full-out sprint, and if I glance at my Garmin, it is typically somewhere between a 5:30 and 6:30 pace for that minute.  I'll do about 10-12 of those in one lap of the 3.5 mile lake.  Today I did two laps.

By the way, when I looked up the word "fartlek," this image is one that came up.

Is this someone famous?  You don't have a booty like that and then not get famous.  It's straight-up gorgeous.  I can't stop staring.

It's going to rain for the rest of this week, so this is a good opportunity to take some extra rest days and tend to relieving myself of this buttcrease issue.  I was considering trying to somehow use the blog to keep me accountable to this, by posting how many minutes per day that I:  a) stretch; b) strengthen; c) foam roll; d) use witchcraft healing elixirs.  Maybe, maybe not.


  1. I'm pretty sure the picture is Alenka Bikar, retired Slovenian 200 meter runner. That is all that I am going to say but here is a link.

    1. Um I just googled her and all of her image results were taken from behind. Lady's got a butt like whoa

  2. I cannot believe you did not recognize me on the last that I am a mom I am more modest you see..

  3. your niece is the cutest!
    is she walking yet...too cute!!!

    Roussette Francaise = the best donuts I agree 100%

    Reading about your grand mother reminded me of my father. He lived through WWII in Hungary, he rarely talks about those years.

  4. Quick question re: the Fartleks - are you supposed to walk in between sprints, or just run at your normal pace?

    1. Either one! I think Fartleks are all up to the runner. I jog pretty slow in between...walking throws me all off.

  5. I have been wanting to try Lin Jia! So glad to hear someone mention it. Also, if the Gentleman ever needs an apple fritter partner, I'm all in. It is my fave!

  6. Those are my 2 favorites at the donut store. I get the fritter when I need to work on my biceps. A veritable brick of gooey sweetness with a sugary crust.

    Love the story about your mom and food and the one about your grandma. It is so hard to lose someone so very special.

  7. I vote witchcraft healing elixirs!!

    Also, I had to show the booty to my bf. I was that impressed. She probably does a lot of fartleks. Or something.

  8. As sad at is is, I do love have those reflection moments about grandparents. I like you have a very small family so I was very close w/ my grandma who passed in 2003. She wore pastel pink lipstick, and a very specific perfume, I still have them. thanks for sharing, I engjoy reading sentimental things like that.

    But dang, that is seriously the best butt around!!! genetics. It can only be.

    how is the butt crease feeling btw??

  9. I wish my bum looked like that!!!

  10. This may have been one of my most favorite posts ever. And not just because it ended with one gorgeous ass. Seriously. That's unreal.

    Love the picture of the family, and oh those dolls. And thanks for sharing some memories of your Grandma, it makes me feel lucky that I have a few of my own. She was such a special woman and I know that she knew how much you loved her.

  11. As someone who has no ass (even after ALL this running and ALL those lunges and squats) I am envious. That is a special ass. I bet it has fanpages.

    Stale Peeps are the BEST. Only way to go.

    You should post every time you foam roll so that I do it too... it's just too tempting to just keep my ass on the couch.

  12. Concur with Allison - I also really likes this post all around.

    Nothing like wrapping up a post with a fabulous ass. That ass just proves that life is not fair.

  13. Ugh - there are no good donuts to be found in my city. They are all crappy crappy chain store donuts. It makes me sad and I am very jealous of that donut tray.

  14. I'm just like your mom. No food will give me food poisoning. No jar needs a lid. No mold cannot be flicked off with a finger nail. No rotton veggie cannot be disguised in soup. Keep that in mind if I ever ask you over for dinner.

  15. wow, Kim Kardashian has some competition!

    About Hunger Games, I thought the movie did a great job overall with mirroring the book. They could have made the movie 30 minutes longer (which I would have been perfectly okay with) to get in more details if they wanted to.

    The next movie doesn't come out until November 2013 - I can't wait that long!

  16. Colonial is apparently open 24 hours a day. I've wanted for years to head down there at 2 am just to see, you know, why, but haven't made it yet. Love that they always keep the sprinkle donuts well stocked.

  17. I lost my Gram 10 years ago on April 2. I love the 24 hour candle idea.

  18. Kim & Nikki Minaj would be so jealous! :)

    Those donuts look like heaven!! My grandmother just turned 80 last year. Its funny because I obviously she's not going to live forever but its hard to think of her passing. Thanks for sharing! Your niece is soo cute! Oh & my mom does the same thing with food. Everything is "its ok just eat it!" Or my dad will say "just eat it it'll grow hair on your chest." Me- "but dad I'm a girl remember I don't want hair on my chest!" Lol :)) have a great day RR!!

  19. Yeah I get the manic hybrid of tears and laughter that can only mean SLEEP too. Hahahahahwaaaaaasobsobhahahahahhaaawaaaaaaaaaa.

    Also, that womans bottom is AMAZING. And now I feel like a pervert. Congratulations. x


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