Friday, June 22, 2012

This is a terrible blog

I spent a little time--for the first time since beginning this blog in early 2011--tending to the page tabs on the blog.  I added a new tab that is basically a "popular posts" compilation, fixed the "races and PR's" tab, and got rid of the absolutely useless FAQ tab.

Creating the new page meant that I had to dig through the archives.  Really go month by month, looking for posts that received the most feedback.

I thought it would be cool to revisit my old thoughts and create a "best of" center.  It turns out, reading your own old posts isn't cool.  Not cool at all.  A better term....might be....horrific.

I hate my blog. 

Hate is a strong word.  Hate is a word I reserve for spiders, and for the tradition of engagement pictures (get a room, you kissy-faces in a random meadow!).  I dislike my blog? Am annoyed by my blog?

I'm not fishing for a compliment here, I don't need any "no, silly I love reading your blog!" so shut it.  Don't! I said don't.  That's not why I'm spilling my beans here.  Maybe everyone with a blog feels this way? Can't stand reading their writing, the way hot actors always claim they can't watch themselves on the big screen (suurrre, you're so ugly superstar, I'm sure it's dreadful to watch yourself).  

Well, I don't know what to do now.  I can't recall exactly what I wanted out of a blog, although I do know one of the primary incentives was so I could put a face to my name when I commented or interacted with other blogs that I read.  But surely one of the reasons I started was because I hoped/expected that it would be fun to read through at some point, for the memories, much like any diary.  Turns out that aspect sucks.  I think I will only cringe harder when I read this stuff as I age.

Am I threatening to quuuiiiittt??????  Is that a threat!? I don't want to shut down yet.  But I also don't want to be accredited for crappy material.  I'm in a real pickle here.  I don't know what to do to improve, and I'm certainly not interested in becoming a better diary-writer or anything.  Stuck here in limbo, servicing a blog I wouldn't want to read myself.  I guess I could just come to terms with that?  Yeah, I'm a shitty blog-writer, but I'm owning it!

boy.  I still have brown hair, so here's a picture.


It's getting lighter (even with permanent dye) which is gross

And we are dropping a new record.  The title/art is all pretty meaningless, so just let it be.


RUNNING

Two track workouts this week, my favorite two, and the exact same as last week except for bumping each one up by one repeat, for: 8x800m on Tuesday, 12x400m on Thursday.

For the 800's, still aiming to build up to 2:59-ish for 10 repeats.  One lap jog recovery in between each.  For this week, I got away with:

3:03; 2:59; 3:00; 2:57; 2:55; 3:01; 3:01; 2:56.

I felt good, none of this "I'm gonna diiieee" feeling I used to get when I first introduced myself to the track a few months ago.  Jogged 2 miles home afterwards comfortably.

For the 400's, my legs were trashed and I knew this could be a poor workout (trashed because of more hill dominating the night before with XLMIC, and we're talking 20% grade hills, whoa).  However, while running each repeat, I felt good and thought I was hitting 81 and 82 seconds for most of them.  I felt like I ran the last one so hard, it would be 79 seconds.  (When I program a workout into my Garmin, I can't see the time for each split until I review the workout afterwards, maybe someone can tell me how to change that).  Anyway, my times were way off how I felt, and while these repeats are just fine with me, I was surprised.  1/2 lap jog recovery in between each.

86; 84; 84; 83; 84; 84; 83; 84; 83; 84; 81; 82.



                                                                             *****
 
Can you stand reading the archives of your own blog?
 

22 comments:

  1. I think that's a really common reaction. In theory, we learn and grow wiser with each passing week/month/year, and in retrospect, what we thought or said is completely off base or stupid.

    It's the same whether you have a blog or not, it's just that with a blog, it's written down and staring you in the face; without a blog, it's just your memory.

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    1. Hey RR,
      Sometimes I am embarrassed by my writing. I feel that my sentences are short and choppy and my grammatical errors are even more embarrassing. I started my blog because "why not?" I don't use daily mile and I don't want to be that annoying person on Facebook that brags about “running 4 miles” this morning I figured this would be a good place to talk about my running. I might not feel this way next year.
      (I forgot to spell check the first time I posted)

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  3. I cringe at old blog posts. I sit and wonder why it took me so long to churn out the little bit of drivel that I did, and how it ended up sounding so goofy and lame. I think it might be everyone who feels that way. Unless you're really into yourself.

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  4. I cringe at pretty much everything I do...photos, video, my stupid blog, Oh well, we are still awesome, right?

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  5. Yeah I hate most of my old posts too :).

    I'm not a particularly good writer (and no I'm not fishing for compliments. I know I'm not. I'm a f-ing engineer by training).

    But I love the friends and the attention. So I'm not stoppin'.

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  6. Really old blog posts make me want to spam the delete button...but more recent ones that are a bit more like photo bombs of our mountain adventures keep me writing. I've learned a lot about myself and well/horrible I write going back and reading old stuff. Writing just to write a post results in shitty content. Writing because we did something awesome that is really worth sharing isn't quite so painful.

    But no one is paying me to be awesome at blogging and I'm not getting anything but an inflated ego from my pageviews so I'm sticking with it...at least I know my mom likes looking at the pictures!

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  7. Back in the day I used to have a Livejournal. I recently remembered it and logged back in... holy shit it was atrocious! I felt like I didn't even know that person. So yes, don't read your archives. Ignorance is bliss!

    I had a period in my life long ago where I dyed it very, very blonde (my hair is a light/medium brown naturally) and then when I went back brown it was a long process. The permanent dye does not last very long - something about it not pigment not staying put. I had it colored brown every few months for a long time until it finally grew out.

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  8. Is it weird and egotistical that I like reading my archives? Not the really old ones, but the archives from a certain point on I really do like reading. It brings me back to where I was at that point. I don't necessarily think the writing is great or that anyone else would find it interesting - it just brings me back to where I was and who I was at that point...

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  9. If you can look back on your past and think "man I was dumb", then you've probably improved since then so consider it a marker of progress.

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  10. I don't really know what constitutes a 'good blog' and I don't really care. And I can't really pinpoint what draws me to a blog. I do like my blog. It makes me laugh a lot. Sometimes it makes me cry...for a myriad of reasons...sometimes because the post is super lame and I'm feeling super lame at that moment. I do like looking back and seeing stuff like that I was whiny about running a 2:01 half 6 months ago and now I can hardly run 5 miles. I love the perspective my blog gives me. I don't know what anyone else gets from my blog. My biggest hope is that people are at least somewhat entertained by it...even if they find it super idiotic and creepy :P At least my kids are cute.

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  11. My blog is terrible for other reasons, like the fact that I never post anything, but I can certainly relate to the feeling of cringing at your own writing. I used to do a lot of creative writing and and can't stand to read most of it now, even stuff that was nominated for awards (and is thus probably not, objectively, awful). Anyway, I hope you'll keep blogging - I like following your running progress, and if you stop then I'll only have like 3 blogs left in my reader that are something other than product-shilling OMGFREESTUFF marketing opportunities.

    About the hair - I had a similar experience when I dyed my hair brown a few years back. It lightened very quickly and I think the sun was to blame. I went hiking in Morocco a few weeks later and the sun just bleached the crap out of the dye so I came back as a straw-haired bleached-looking blonde. Maybe a hat would help?

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  12. The perspective is the main thing for me, so I like what XLMIC said. Every now and then I get captured by the little thingie at the bottom of my blog that randomly (I think) suggests other posts to read, and I can't remember it till I read it. Some posts I quite like, and others, well, meh.

    Each blog is the work of an individual, written for whatever reasons please them. Just as you can't see yourself objectively, you can't see your own writing objectively.

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  13. I'm with Kristen -- I actually like reading my old posts. I will note, however, that I've been journaling since I was 12 and so I'm used to re-reading cringe-inducing self proclamations for 20+ years. The other thing is that I'm a super anal retentive editor, and will proofread the shit out of my posts before I publish them... so even if the content isn't great, I'm not ashamed of my grammar.

    I feel like a successful blog is less about the actual writing and more about the readership and the dialog/interaction with your readers. My food blog (almost 4 years old) is way "better" in terms of quality, but my running blog (only 2-3 months old) has already been generating more discussion -- which I really really enjoy. I'd say don't overthink it -- if you still like blogging, continue to do so. If you don't, stop. That's all there is to it. :)

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  14. I feel the SAME way. I NEVER look at my old posts. I actually have to hold my breath for a second each time I hit the "post" button because I'm like "Seriously my life is not interesting to anyone except myself, lol" I started it as MY journal, because I loved reading so many others. Yours has been a favorite of mine. You are honest, you don't try to impress people with crazy giveaways and reviews, you are blunt, it's just plain real, without any silly fluff. Please keep it up ;)

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  15. I don't even like reading over posts I JUST wrote. Which is why they're flush with typos and sometimes incoherent.

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  16. Nope. Which is why I'm terrified to click "open" on them. I. Kid. You. Not.

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  17. I like some of my old posts, but some of them are pretty cringe-worthy. But then again I'm pretty critical of writing, but need distance from my own to see how shitty it is. That's what the archives do for me when I'm not agonizing over writing something academic, that is.

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  18. i hate my old blog posts... and that is pictures of my own kids! I don't like the camera i used, i don't like how I tried to be funny, and some days I hate that I post so much random nonsense. like if someone read my blog every day they would get sick and tired of the same old thing. Oh well, it is what it is. that being said I also hate reading my old journals, but i kept doing it throughout high school and college

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  19. Thank goodness someone else feels the same way about engagement pictures as I do...don't stop blogging. I need company in such random annoyances.

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  20. i have deleted many a past post that made me cringe. i still insist on writing a blahg though, mostly for my own entertainment. it's all relative anyway. so, meh.

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  21. I've always said that if something isn't fun (and it isn't something required like your job or something), then it's not worth doing. So if you feel that way about your blog you should shut it down.

    I will say that I enjoy reading your blog, because I never know what I'm going to read about. Your topics are always interesting, and sometimes controversial, which makes it even more entertaining.

    As for my old blog posts - they are pretty much the same as my current posts, since I have a somewhat consistent writing style, and I write about the same topics all the time. The only old posts that are hard for me to read about are posts pre injury (February 2011), when I went on some amazing runs and was running amazing. I wonder if I will ever get back to feeling like that again.

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