Sunday, July 8, 2012

Sad Song

I know I have a reputation of being, like, so extremely chipper and upbeat and probably exude  the spirit of a Broadway musical.  Did I get that right?

Well in a change of pace from my classic Rodgers & Hammerstein song and dance (sarcasm), I've had a pretty bum week.  Pretty much right after my reign as 800m Queen Supreme, the week went downhill.

I was sick on Fourth of July.  Our fabulous plans for the holiday were semi-thwarted by my lack of energy, but we still managed to hike (a little less than one-mile each way) up a hill in Napa to a viewpoint for fireworks.  The homemade (not machine made!) rosemary bread that the Gentleman made, and our selection of cheeses, were delicious even though my congestion swindled about 60% of my sense of smell/taste.

Bread and Cheese and Legs


On Top of Napa

Cherries, Olives (always Castelvetrano!), Jalapeno Salami, Cherry Tomatoes

Full of picnic anticipation

I trudged through the rest of the work week.  I was sick, but trying to bust out a trial brief, so I made my way to work and fought the foggy head.  I also fought with my health insurer over a $1100 dental bill (!!!) that the insurance is only paying $250 of.  Leaving me with an $850 bill for some super special porcelain fillings that are too future-forward for the insurance company to cover.  I lost that fight.

By later in the week, my cold was compounded by Esophageal Spasms, something I have occasionally suffered from since March of 2010, and while I'm sure there is a spectrum of how painful these can be, when I get them it literally feels like someone is crushing my heart with a squeezed fist.  Even WebMD compares the sensation to a heart attack, so I'm pretty sure I'm not a huge wimp and these spells are actually very uncomfortable.  Still had some spasms last night, so this part of my week is still not going well.

Saturday, I was really looking forward to heading to Napa for my brother-in-law's grand opening party for his new car restoration shop space.  (If you live in the bay area and are--or know--someone who is interested in vintage cars or contest-winning paint jobs, please pass his name on! His talent amazes me).  The party was to begin at 5:00, so the Gentleman and I headed to a nearby AMC to watch The Amazing Spiderman at 1:30 before heading to Napa.

One of his cars, in his new shop.  Yum.

The movie was OK.  Andrew Garfield out-hunks Tobey Maguire by one-thousand points, and Emma Stone wins for biggest eyeballs in the movie industry (close contender to Mila Kunis).  When we left the theatre at 4:00 (long ass movie), my car was gone.

Gone! My car was stolen.  I am heartbroken.

The good ole days.  In my sweet car....

I hate admitting that I am so devastated by a material thing.  I understand, you know, that nobody is hurt, that I have my health, this and that and etc etc.  But my car...which has been mine since 2004 (8 years!) and in my family since 1999, is the closest thing I have to an appendage...or to a pet.   That car has been through every single significant event of my adult life with me.  That car is the only part of me that was the same at age 20 as I am today.  That car was a fucking great camping car.  A great 4-wheel drive car for driving to Tahoe.  It smelled like me.  Every little nick and dent in that car has a story.

And dammit, I kept stuff in that car.  And all of that is gone now too.  The CD collection that I began building when I was 13 years old until now....all gone.  My favorite dress-up shoes, that I was going to wear once I got in Napa.  Books, clothes, board games, newspaper articles that I was saving, the sunglasses that were the Gentleman's first surprise romantic gift to me....they were all in my car.  To be clear, it wasn't a messy car--it was bigger, like a jeep, and these little things were under car seats and in the trunk.  And since I've moved 10 times since age 20, sometimes a lot of your belongings just end up in the car.

Heartbroken.  There is no silver lining, and that's ok to just admit and say that this SUCKS.  People keep trying to tell me that the silver lining is that now, I can get a new car! A car that I like better!

Shut up!  This is like being the inconsiderate friend who says you can get a new dog after your pet passes away.  You can't replace one unique thing with another.  Shopping for something new doesn't fix all problems.

Not only that, but as I hope most people already know...being 2 years out of law school does not make you rich.  I'm very thankful that we both have comfortable jobs (the Gentleman is also in the legal industry), but we are strapped to loans and bills just like everyone else.  We aren't high rollers....our vacations are usually in tents, and we live in a relatively crappy pad, in order to bust our asses saving so we can hopefully get the hell out and purchase a home in the next year or two.  So it's not exactly a silver lining to get to (have to) purchase a new car when it's not something budgeted for.

If there was any silver lining? It was that I got to hang out with a cop for 10 minutes while filing my police report.  Don't even get me started on how much I love cops.  Even though I know they don't care about stolen cars.

Writing helps.  I'm feeling 90% over my sad fest.

In better news, my cold was finally letting up today, so I enjoyed a slow 19 miles out and about in Oakland.  I was full-on prepped to start sprinting the second I saw my car (as if I would actually spot it).  Dream on.

And since food can make many things better, the Gentleman decided to make the loss of my car better by opening a recipe book.

My lamb and mint burger.  I'm really enjoying this non-vegetarian year.

Hey sympathy party: has anything been stolen/lost that made you really upset?
Anyone suffer from esophageal spasms?  Find anything that works for you?


  1. Someone stole my mini-van once. It was recovered a few miles away. When the CSI people dusted the van for fingerprints, they found kid prints on the rear view mirror and stealing wheel, that didn't belong to my kids.

    They also used my daughter's car seat.

    Who the fuck steals a mini van with their kid.

    Hope your week gets less shitty.

  2. Hey, I'm sorry...
    I didn't see you at the lake today (there are a thousand ways to run the lake and I kept reminding myself "she's a brunette now").
    I'm also sorry about your car. I sorta kinda can relate. My favorite car EVER was totaled in front of my house while I was out of town (thankfully, I guess) and while I could get all of my stuff out of it I can relate to the "gee now you can get a new car" comments. First, I loved my car. It was had no problems, and was my first (and possibly only car) I ever bought new. Yes, it was a Geo Metro, but to me it was the best thing ever. So I was able to get my stuff out of it (sorry you are not, and hope that it will come back) but it was a terrible loss! I miss it still!

  3. Holy crap, who steals a car in broad daylight!? I would be pissed and all "why me!?" about it. That really sucks. Hope this week is better...

    (PS: new follower)

  4. I'm so sorry...what a crap week you had! I'm glad you're feeling better but those spasms do not sound pleasant at all! Impressive 19 miler...hopefully that helped your mood a bit. The Napa view is beautiful. I hope this week goes better for you!! And it's fine to wallow for a bit when life sucks at times...Running always helps me when I'm in a funk.

  5. Oh my gosh! That is crazy! So sorry to hear about your car! I would also be devastated, and i've only had my car a few months. I've never had a car stolen, but someone broke into my old car and stole 2 ipod & my GPS, then they broke into DH's truck & stole $400 cash... It was a very bad feeling; like someone came into my driveway, while I was home, and took stuff from me. Major ick factor!

    -- I guess there is a small chance they'll find your car? Someone stole my Grandma's old diesel mercedes from her driveway, and it was found a few miles down the road at an apartment complex (intact).

  6. What. I am so sorry and that is crazy. I honestly don't know what I would do if my car was stolen but great for you for working through it. You are an amazing and will get through it. Sorry for this crapluck.

  7. That really sucks...who would have thought that the movie theatre was prime for car stealing.

    I've never had a car stolen, but my husband did run over a moose a couple of years ago and figured the car would be a write-off. So he got exited and already had a new car picked out (really, just a better version of the car that hit the moose) when the quote came back and the insurance company decided to fix it. He was sad...and then when it turned out that fixing the car ended up costing twice what the quote was so it really should have been a write-off he was double sad.

    Glad you're feeling better - and again, sorry about your car :(

  8. Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. That is terrible, terrible news. I feel like that about my car, too. I hope it was just a crime get-away car and shows up unscathed with only a few minor blood stains.

  9. So sorry about your car and all the things in it. That really stinks. Hope the thief gets hit by a boatload of karma.

    My sister-in-law stole the earrings my parents gave me for turning 25 and graduating law school. I let her use our room to take a nap with her toddler son and she took them right out of my jewelry box. She pawned them for drugs. I only wish I were kidding. Needless to say, we are not on speaking terms.

  10. Oh man -- I'm so sorry about your car being stolen. Sucks. A long time ago, I had my window smashed and my dry cleaning taken from my car -- it took me a bit to get over the creaped out feeling that someone has my stuff. I imagine this would be worse.

  11. So so sorry about your car! Our garage got broken into once and they stole all the change out of both cars, a lot of beer (garage fridge was the beer/pop fridge) and the screen from our minivan dvd player. Yeah, just the screen. I was really surprised at how violated I felt by the whole thing, even though very little was actually gone. :(

  12. dana ( 9, 2012 at 7:33 AM

    That's awful. I'm so sorry to hear about your car! And I agree about there being no silver lining. I was devastated when my '94 saab was totaled. Buying a new one definitely didn't make me feel any less sad about the old one. And it has to be even worse when it's stolen. Hang in there! I'm glad your cold is feeling better enough to run again, at least.

  13. I feel your pain, I have had two cars stolen. The first one was a little hoopty of a car, so not so much emotional attachment. I lived overseas where there was a good sized gypsy population so I never left anything valuable in the car. In 2003 my beloved Honda Civic SI was stolen from me. Now this car I LOVED with so much passion.. We saved so much money so we could put a large downpayment on the car. I was only two payments from title when I went outside to leave for work one morning and it was gone. Along with it were my sunglasses, a huge book of CD's with music purchsed from overseas, expensive stero equipment not covered by insurance, clothes, and a few other items. I had an alarm on it but, I didn't set it that night. I think they had been casing my car for awhile. It was worth more stripped than whole. A month later my car was found completely gutted. It took awhile for me to get over it, but I kept reminding myself that carjacking had happend a few miles away only days earlier so it could have been way worse. I'm sorry for you loss....

  14. I feel you on the car. My second car was a candy red Element. I loved that car with every fiber of my being. It wasn't stolen, but totaled, by a woman having a stroke. Like you, people told me I should be happy, now I can get a better car. Instead I hunted down another Element, only in blue. Still, every time I see a red one on the road my heart aches a little bit.

    So, yeah, it sucks. I'm sorry.

  15. That is awful! I hope the aholes who stole your car get run over by a Mack truck. I'm sorry!!

  16. Wow, really sorry to hear about your car being stolen. As an accountant, the first thing I thought of was that I hoped no client legal papers are in your car. Because if that got stolen too that could be disaster. That's why I try to keep almost nothing personal or work related in my car - so that if it is stolen nothing of value is lost except for the car.

  17. Sounds like the grown-up version for that kids' book: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day...only lasting a lot longer. I am so sorry to hear about your car! Hope things only go up from here!

  18. What the hell!! You have every right to complain and be upset. Yeah yeah yeah, it's only a material "thing," it's not like a TV or a radio or something relatively pointless, it's your damn car! I hope it turns up somehow...

  19. My motorcycle was stolen about a year ago from my gated apartment complex and it was stored in my under-apartment carport that couldn't be seen from the street AND I hadn't ridden it for months. I'm pretty sure that someone who lives in my apartment had something to do with the theft. It was my first bike and I really liked it, but it was nice to get out of the loan I had on it and actually get some cash (awesome insurance). The part that bugged me was that it was stolen in the middle of the day on a Saturday; I felt very violated. For the next couple of months I felt like I was being watched every time I came or went.

    I also saw Spider Man and it was, much like the Toby Maguire movies, garbage. It was the same basic movie with new actors and a new villian, totally not worth getting your car stolen while watching.

    People who think it's cool that you get to get a new car now are either stupid or have lots of money. Not having a car payment is way better than having a new car.

  20. That SUCKS. I've never had anything significant stolen from me (knock on wood), but I've seen my friend's get bikes stolen. This past weekend, my friend's smartphone was stolen by some jerk on the BART. What the heck is going on? Anyway, hope this week is off to a better start and that your health is on the mend.

  21. Oh I am sooo sad for you. I also hate it when people think I have "made it", like i have a 2 income family and we are both professionals, this shouldn't be a big deal for you... my in laws often ask us for money... seriously people? We just short sold our freakin house and have a bazillion dollars in credit card debt... oh wait, this isn't supposed to be a rant about me. But anyway, you should probably keep your eye on your mailbox for the next couple days... because who knows if something will magically appear to cheer you up.

  22. Soo sorry to hear this! :(

    My husb had his truck stolen while we were in the movies w/the kids. His truck was recovered but, it was stripped. I had my purse stolen...the sad, sad thing about that were the pics that were in the wallet. Karma is real & I feel sorry for the people that do such awful things.

    hope you have a better week! :)

  23. Really???? People are trying to cheer you up by saying you "get" to buy a new car??? Are these people trust fund kids? Yay, you get to spend thousands of dollars! That you didn't budget for! Surprise!

    Sorry your car was stolen, that sucks massively. My windshield was shattered a couple months ago by what I assume was rock-wielding teenagers and that made me feel violated, I can only imagine what you must feel like right now :(

  24. oh my gosh I am so sorry...I know how you feel, in 2008 a lady in a volvo ran a stop sign and t-boned into my 4runner...I got out of my car and burst into tears(i knew it was totaled immediately!) no one understood why I was so upset, because I *could* get a new car. they didn't make the body-style of 4runner I had, it felt irreplaceable. I still miss my car, but am so thankful I wasn't hurt and tried to see the silver-lining :) even though there wasn't one!
    keep your head up, things can't always go horribly! and I hope this week is going so much better for you!!

  25. I'm sorry some jackhole forcibly parted you from your beloved car.

  26. I'm sorry about your car. I had my car stolen when I was in college . . . from the college parking lot while I was in a class. Frakers! It sucks.

  27. Late to this (catching up on a lot of blogs). I'm very sorry about the loss of a car. I haven't been through that, but I've had to get rid of a car (that I just finished paying off a year before) after it was totaled in an accident. It's not the same as being stolen, but it is a financial hit and shopping for something new isn't fun when you're still shaken and upset about the need for the new car.

  28. I'm sorry your car was stolen. About eight years ago someone broke into my car while I was at work. I only had to replace a window and the cd player, but the whole experience made me feel rather helpless. I mean, the car was in the office parking lot. Thought it was safe there.

  29. Jesus Christ. I 've been so wrapped up in my own shit that I didn't even know about this! Well, I am glad you got it back. I hope the romantic sunglasses were still under the driver's seat...along with your fave NKOTB CD ;-)

    I had my car stolen. I walked out of my apartment and it was *boom* gone. Not there. Isn't that the weirdest feeling? Like, you KNOW it WAS there. You KNOW it. And now it isn't. And where in the fuck did it go? Mine even had no muffler. How did they drive it away without waking me up? Mine was never recovered, but I did get more than it was worth from the insurance company!

  30. Whaaaat!! I'm so sorry!! I totally understand being attached to something like that. I had the same feeling when I had to trash my first car. But your situation is way worse because you didn't have a choice and all your stuff was in it... I'm sorry :(


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